


Aoba Johsai Club Hellchat ;)

by AWildMoss



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aobajousai, Based post loss to Karasuno, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting to know eachother is KyouHaba, Getting together is like, M/M, Seijoh - Freeform, Seijou, aoba johsai, chatfic, literally all of them - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 07:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19169002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildMoss/pseuds/AWildMoss
Summary: Lying Hoe: What's wrong with Y'all??Yahaba: ^^^ ???Kunimi: yeehaw.Watari: Oh mighty yeehaws, tell us your secrets.Lying Hoe: :-OLying Hoe: The DisrespecTDHDNFDNJSKSDJF





	1. Chapter 1

_\-- User OikawaTooru has added you and 7 others to 'Club Groupchat! ;D' --_  
  
**Oikawa:** Hellooo~  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Christ.  
  
**Kindaichi:** Hello! (:!  
  
**Hanamaki:** oiks I was j o k ing about a groupchat o h m y fuckig g o d  
  
**Oikawa:** Fckig  
  
**Hanamaki:** fckig.  
  
**Oikawa:** !!! But not my point!  
**Oikawa:** I know you were joking~ but I really think a team groupchat can help us bond!  
  
**Kindaichi:** I think it's a good idea, Oikawa-san!  
  
**Oikawa:** See?  
**Oikawa:** Guys?  
**Oikawa:** Guuyss?~  
_\-- Read by HanamakiTakahiro and 6 others --_  
  
_\-- YahabaShigeru has renamed the chat 'Aoba Johsai Club Hellchat ;)' --_  
  
**Oikawa:** Mean!  
  
\--------------------  
  
_\-- KyoutaniKentarou has left the chat --_  
  
**Oikawa:** Not so fast~  
  
_\-- OikawaTooru has added KyoutaniKentarou to the chat --_  
  
_\-- KyoutaniKentarou has left the chat --_  
  
_\-- OikawaTooru has added KyoutaniKentarou to the chat --_  
  
_\-- KyoutaniKentarou has left the chat --_  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Right.  
  
_\-- IwaizumiHajime has added KyoutaniKentarou to the chat --_  
  
**Kyoutani:** .  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Trust me when I say it's alot easier to just stay. You don't have to talk if you don't want to.  
  
**Kyoutani:** ...  
**Kyoutani:** okay  
  
**Oikawa:** Why does he only listen to you!? :-(  
  
_\-- HanamakiTakahiro has changed KyoutaniKentarou's nickname to 'Sanic' --_  
  
**Hanamaki:** i have witnessed sin  
**Hanamaki:** with my own two eyes  
  
**Oikawa:** Exactly! I'm the captain here, not old man Iwa-chan!  
  
**Hanamaki:** a  n o s e  on that poor, innocent, little frowney face. disgraceful.  
  
**Iwaizumi:** He's been doing it since he got a phone.  
  
**Matsukawa:** surely we banish him  
  
**Hanamaki:** surely  
  
**Oikawa:** What's wrong with it having a nose!?  
  
**Hanamaki:** so much. so, so much.  
  
**Yahaba:** It's like Kindaichi-kun's reverse smileys, Oikawa-san  
  
**Kindaichi:** ??  
  
**Yahaba:** Nothing, ignore it Kindaichi  
  
**Kindaichi:** ):  
  
**Oikawa:** Look what you've done, Creampuff-chan!! You've gone and made Turnip-kun sad!!  
  
**Kindaichi:** I'm not sad, Oikawa-san! Don't worry! (:!  
**Kindaichi:** I was only playing!  
  
**Yahaba:** Look at what you've done, Oikawa-san!! You gave it a nose!!  
  
**Oikawa:** :-0  
  
**Hanamaki:** gross  
  
**Oikawa:** Mocked, by my own son, on the day of my daughter's wedding  
  
**Matsukawa:** F  
  
**Hanamaki:** F  
  
**Watari:** F  
  
**Iwaizumi:** F  
  
**Kunimi:** F.  
  
**Yahaba:** :)  
  
\-------------------  
  
**Sanic:** what??  
  
**Oikawa:** Hmm?~  
  
**Sanic:** you have a son?  
  
**Oikawa:** No! No, no, no! It's just a nickname for my beloved Creampuff-chan~  
  
**Hanamaki:** methinks the mad dog wants to be your son too  
  
**Sanic:** methinks?  
**Sanic:** and dont call me that.  
  
**Watari:** methinks we should all go to sleep! It's late and we have practice tomorrow!  
  
**Yahaba:** We also had practice yesterday.  
**Yahaba:** @Oikawa-san  
  
**Oikawa:** Wh  
**Oikawa:** Iwa-chan wasn't there either!  
  
**Yahaba:** .  
**Yahaba:** Ok  
  
**Hanamaki:** lmao @whoever filled the locker room with toilet paper  
  
**Iwaizumi:** What?  
  
**Matsukawa:** come see for yourself iwa-chaan~  
  
**Hanamaki:** ew  
  
**Matsukawa:** i cringed typing that out  
  
**Iwaizumi:** What are you doing in the locker rooms? It's almost midnight, go home.  
  
**Oikawa:** Aw Iwa-chan~ Our own team mum :'-)  
  
**Yahaba:** I hate that with all my heart  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Are you with them?  
  
**Oikawa:**  
**Oikawa:** No??  
  
_\-- HanamakiTakahiro has sent a photo --_  
  
**Hanamaki:** wym no thot??  
  
_\-- HanamakiTakahiro has changed OikawaTooru's nickname to 'Lying Hoe' --_  
  
**Lying Hoe:** Rude  
  
**Yahaba:** Y'all are going to get caught, you know?  
  
**Watari:** Y'all  
  
**Hanamaki:** Y'all  
  
**Matsukawa:** Y'all  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Jesus Christ Crappykawa  
  
**Lying Hoe:** What's wrong with Y'all??  
  
**Yahaba:** ^^^ ???  
  
**Kunimi:** yeehaw.  
  
**Watari:** Oh mighty yeehaws, tell us your secrets.  
  
**Lying Hoe:** :-O  
**Lying Hoe:** The DisrespecTDHDNFDNJSKSDJF  
  
_\-- MatsukawaIssei has sent a photo --_  
  
**Matsukawa:** Making a get away from mama iwa ;)  
  
**Iwaizumi:** I'm taking this one home. Don't blame me if you end up tired at practice.  
  
**Hanamaki:** ;) we'll be tired for a different reason, don't worry ;) ;)  
  
**Matsukawa:** ;) ;) ;)  
  
**Hanamaki:** ;) ;) ;) ;)  
  
\--Cut for length--  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Stop it. Get some help.

 **Sanic:** Iwaizumi-san.  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Yeah?  
  
**Sanic:** are you home?  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Yeah, Crappykawa fell asleep on me on the way back. Dumbass.  
**Iwaizumi:** Not you Kyoutani  
  
**Sanic:** okay  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Why did you ask? Do you need a place to stay? I'm sure mum wont mind if you stay the night  
  
**Sanic:** no, im fine  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Oh?  
  
**Yahaba:** I think he just wanted to see if you were safe.  
  
**Sanic:** .  
**Sanic:** no  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Then what did you need?  
  
**Sanic:** nothing  
  
**Iwaizumi:** Hm.  
**Iwaizumi:** Anyway, I'm heading to bed. You guys do the same soon, okay?  
  
**Hanamaki:** yes, iwa-mommy~  
  
**Iwaizumi:** .  
  
**Yahaba:** Good night Iwaizumi-san, Oikawa-san!  
**Yahaba:** Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!  
  
**Watari:** 'don't let the bed bugs bite'  
**Watari:** Thank you, Shigeru, very cool!  
  
**Yahaba:** Oh shush  
  
**Sanic:** .  
  
**Yahaba:** Don't you start.  
  
**Sanic:** i didnt say anything.  
  
**Watari:** Shig  
  
**Yahaba:** You were going to.  
**Yahaba:** Yeah?  
  
**Sanic:** okay, pretty boy.  
  
**Watari:** I think it's time for bed  
  
**Yahaba:** Okay, buzz lightyear.  
**Yahaba:** I have homework to do still  
  
**Watari:** Shig that was horrible, go to bed or you'll never get anything done.  
  
**Yahaba:** :/  
  
**Watari:** :/ :/  
  
**Yahaba:** :/ :/ :/  
  
**Watari:** :/ :/ :/ :/  
  
**Yahaba:** H  
**Yahaba:** _Finee_  
**Yahaba:** Good night, Shinji.  
**Yahaba:** Kyoutani.  
  
**Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** night.  
  
**Watari:** Good night!  
  
**Kunimi:** 'don't let the bed bugs bite.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanamaki: but,,, but mattsun
> 
> Hanamaki: what of our families?
> 
> Matsukawa: eaten for sustinence and shat out by a pony.

_\-- HanamakiTakahiro has changed YahabaShigeru's nickname to 'Yeehawba' --_

**Yeehawba:** SKSKSKKSKS

 **Watari:** Oh My God

 **Watari:** It's perfect

 **Hanamaki:** yes yes i am a comedic genius

 **Yeehawba:**  And so humble too

 **Hanamaki** **:** eat ass @oiks i'm better than u

 **Lying Hoe:** >:-0

 **Lying Hoe:** Methinks you should be nicer to your captain, Makki!

 **Hanamaki:** yeehaw capin thotticus

 **Lying Hoe:** What?? Does that even mean??

 **Hanamaki:** op what does this m e a n ?

 **Lying Hoe:** 'Over powered what does this mean' ??

 **Hanamaki:** oh my god

 **Yeehawba:** It means original poster, Oikawa-san

 **Lying Hoe:** OH

 **Lying Hoe:** I mean

 **Lying Hoe:** I knew that.

 **Matsukawa:** uh huh

 **Lying Hoe:** I did!

 **Hanamaki:** are you sure about that?

 **Lying Hoe:** Definitely!

 **Watari:** Theres no shame in not knowing some things Oikawa-san :)

 **Lying Hoe:** I know! But I absolutely knew this!

 **Watari:** If you say so,,,

 **Iwaizumi:** You still live up to your name then.

 **Kindaichi:** Oikawa-senpai!! Kunimi didn't get much sleep last night so we'll be missing afternoon practice today!!!

 **Lying Hoe:** Rude, Iwa-chan!!!!!!!

 **Lying Hoe:** Make sure he goes to sleep early for me please!~

 **Lying Hoe:** We need our players in top condition for when my precious Yeehawbabe takes over, hmm?~

 **Yeehawba:** Oikawa-san,,,

 **Lying Hoe:** Yeess?~ ;-)

 **Kindaichi:** I will, I promise!! Does anyone know any good ways to get someone to sleep easier???

 **Yeehawba:** I hate that

 **Yeehawba:** Not you, Kindaichi-kun

 **Watari:** Awww

_\-- WatariShinji has sent a photo to the groupchat --_

**Kindaichi:**!!!!

 **Lying Hoe:** Turnip-kun's such a gentleman! Sweeping Akira-kun off his feet like that~

 **Kindaichi:** He fell asleep!!! I didn't want to wake him up just to walk home!!!

 **Watari:** Wellll

 **Kindaichi:**???

_\-- WatariShinji has sent a photo to the groupchat --_

**Watari:** I think he woke up anyway '^^

 **Kindaichi:**!!!

 **Kindaichi:** He's asleep again now though!!! So!!!

 **Lying Hoe:** We're teasing you~

 **Lying Hoe:** Buutt

 **Hanamaki:** haha butt

 **Matsukawa:** lmao

 **Lying Hoe:** Shush!

 **Lying Hoe:** You're a very good friend!

 **Iwaizumi:** Warm milk is the obvious way to get someone tired, but when we were younger putting sugar in it helped Oikawa get to sleep. Might be worth a try.

 **Lying Hoe:** It was sweet but not direct sugar, very relaxing!!

 **Matsukawa:** Sedate him.

 **Kindaichi:** Oh! That might work, thank you!!

 **Matsukawa:** I know a guy who can hook you up

 **Kindaichi:** M Matsukawa-san!?

 **Hanamaki:** I'm the guy.

 **Hanamaki:** Horse tranq or a lower dosage?

 **Kindaichi:** What????!!!! I don't want to sedate Kunimi!!!

 **Sanic:** why are we sedating people

 **Lying Hoe:** KyouKen-chan!

 **Sanic:**.

 **Sanic:** horse tranquilizers could kill someone

 **Kindaichi:**!!!! I don't want to kill him!!!

 **Kindaichi:** aaaAAAAA WHY ARE YOU AT THE DOOR!!!!! ??????

 **Lying Hoe:** Makki! Mattsun!

 **Hanamaki:**? i'm not

 **Matsukawa:** ^

 **Kindaichi:** KYOUTANI-SAN!!!

 **Sanic:** you live here

 **Sanic:**?

 **Sanic:** im walkin my dog

 **Kindaichi:** Kunimi does!!!

 **Kindaichi:** Oh

 **Lying Hoe:** You have a dog?~

 **Sanic:**.

 **Iwaizumi:** What's your dogs name?

 **Sanic:** Peach

 **Iwaizumi:**  Oh is that the elderly dog I saw you with a few months ago?

 **Sanic:** yeah

 **Sanic:** she has a cart for walks now

 **Lying Hoe:** Rude :-0

 **Sanic:** in case she gets tired.

 **Iwaizumi:** Tell her I said hello?

 **Sanic:** i will

 **Yeehawba:**  Peach is a cute name

 **Sanic:** yeah

 **Sanic:**  we named her after the fruit

 **Yeehawba:** I

 **Yeehawba:** I gathered as much

 **Sanic:** well fuck you then

 **Yeehawba:** Fuck you too

 **Hanamaki:** ah young love.

 **Lying Hoe:**  Iwa-channn

 **Iwaizumi:** What?

 **Yeehawba:** W h a t ?

 **Lying Hoe:** You never told me you saw KyouKen-chan out and about!

 **Iwaizumi:** He asked me not to tell you

 **Sanic:** love?

 **Hanamaki:** idk about you oiks but it seems iwa gets around

 **Lying Hoe:** :-0

 **Lying Hoe:** Makki, are you calling our dear ace a slut?

 **Hanamaki:** maybe i am.

 **Hanamaki:** iwaisueme

 **Lying Hoe:** I

 **Iwaizumi:** .

 **Matsukawa:** i think i want to marry you

 **Hanamaki** **:**   _gasp_ mattsun!

 **Matsukawa:** i shall sweep you off into an outhouse where we shall live with our cat, our donkey, and his dragon wife and kids.

 **Hanamaki:** but,,, but mattsun

 **Hanamaki:** what of our families?

 **Matsukawa:** eaten for sustinence and shat out by a pony.

 **Hanamaki:**  you really have thought of everything... but mattsun...

 **Matsukawa:** yes, my love?

 **Hanamaki:** i must confess,,,

 **Hanamaki:** i crave that farquaad dicc

 **Hanamaki:** his quads, my love, you must see how thicc they are

 **Matsukawa:** makki... i'm so glad you do too. i would've never forgiven myself otherwise. come, let us instead give ourselves up to our kings mighty dong.

 **Yeehawba:** Hey, what the fuck?

_\-- Read by WatariShinji and 7 others --_

**Yeehawba:** No seriously, what the fuck?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watari: Hope I'm not next up to get a good fisting
> 
> Watari: Wait.
> 
> Yeehawba: S h i n j i n o
> 
> Watari: A mistake has been made.

**Watari:** Wait so what was the thing with the toilet paper?

 **Iwaizumi:** ?

 **Iwaizumi:** Oh

 **Iwaizumi:** Yeah, turns out the baseball team had a bad dinner on a trip out and didn't want to stink up their own lockerroom. No clue how they got the keys still though. Or all the toilet paper from, actually. Huh.

 **Kunimi:** Oh that was me, sorry.

 **Watari:** What???

 **Iwaizumi:** How did you get the keys?

 **Kunimi:** Oikawa-san gave them to me, I told him I left something in my locker

 **Watari:** Did you not see the paper???

 **Kunimi:** They said one of their members left their underwear in there I didnt ask

 **Watari:** W h a t?

 **Yeehawba:** Oh that's my bad then

 **Watari:** W H A T ?

 **Sanic:** ??

 **Sanic:** .

 **Lying Hoe:** ^^^ !!!!!!

 **Lying Hoe:** CREAMPUFF-CHAN???

 **Yeehawba:** I was kidding, Oikawa-san

 **Lying Hoe:** You had me worried for a second there!!! What if a rumor got out about my beloved son and heir having sexual affairs around school!! That'd be horrible for when you take over!!

 **Yeehawba:** I'll be careful, don't worry Oikawa-san

 **Yeehawba:** Son and heir?

 **Lying Hoe:** Yes!!

 **Yeehawba:** I-

 **Kindaichi:** Guys I think my tortoise is sick ): she's too big to carry to a vet!!

 **Iwaizumi:** What's wrong with her?

 **Kindaichi:** She wont eat!! And normally she likes it when I pet her head but lately she's been tucking in!!! I'm worried!!!

 **Sanic:** you can borrow Peachs cart if you want

 **Kindaichi:** !!! Are you sure Kyoutani-san??? It might break!!

 **Sanic:** doesnt matter

 **Sanic:** um. do you want me to drop it off

 **Kindaichi:** I could come collect it after school!!

 **Kindaichi:** If that's okay with you!!! (:!!!

 **Sanic:** thats fine. do you want help getting her into it

 **Kindaichi:** I might need some, but I can always ask my mum to help!!! So don't worry!!!

 **Sanic:** oh okay

 **Sanic:** .

 **Kindaichi:** Unless you want to!!!! Then you definitely can!!! I don't mind!!!!

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** yes please

 **Watari:** That's so sweet!

 **Lying Hoe:** I can't believe KyouKen-chan's such a softie!!!

 **Hanamaki:** wack

 **Matsukawa:** wack

 **Yeehawba:** Aw, so you really can be friendly sometimes!

 **Sanic:** fuck off pretty boy

 **Yeehawba:** :)

 **Sanic:**.

 **Sanic:**????

\--------------------

 **Watari:** Hey Shig, you know that girl we always see in the hallways?

 **Yeehawba:** Shinji

 **Watari:** Brown hair, suuper tall

 **Yeehawba:** Oh the one with the twin?

 **Watari:** Yeah!

 **Watari:** I heard she's moving into my class! But apparently she punched a girl for saying hi?? Hope I'm not next up to get a good fisting

 **Watari:** Wait.

 **Yeehawba:** S h i n j i  n o

 **Watari:** A mistake has been made.

 **Sanic:**.

 **Sanic:** home

 **Kindaichi:** I'll tell mum!!! Thank you again for lending us the cart Kyoutani-san!!! It was very kind!!!!

 **Sanic:** dont worry about it

 **Hanamaki:** someone put a ring on this mans damm

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** no

 **Hanamaki:** ur no fun, let us marry you off to a wealthy business man,, or woman, we're not judging

 **Sanic:** marry yourself off

 **Hanamaki:** k,,,kyoutani-kun,,, are you,, by chance,,, p r o p o s i n g to me?? i'm flattered! ;)

 **Sanic:** gross

 **Hanamaki:** >:0

 **Hanamaki:** well i was considering,,, but now i think i shall accept anothers proposal instead,,, watari ur my husband now

 **Watari:** No thank you Hanamaki-san! :)

 **Matsukawa:** F

 **Iwaizumi:** F

 **Lying Hoe:** F

 **Hanamaki:** rude

 **Sanic:** why would i want to marry you anyway

 **Sanic:** i dont like you like that

 **Hanamaki:** owo whats this?? are you implying you like me,, g a s p,, as a friend?

 **Sanic:** .

 **Lying Hoe:** You love ussss!!!

 **Sanic:** ew no fuck off

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:**  Yahaba.

 **Yeehawba:**  What do you want??

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** nevermind then

 **Watari:** Shig

 **Yeehawba:** I know, shut up

 **Yeehawba:** What is it?

 **Sanic:**  .

 **Sanic:** my dad wants to meet you

 **Watari:** Hey so, no offence, but what?

 **Yeehawba:** Yeah what?? Why?? I'm not in the mood to be punched today

 **Matsukawa:** when would you ever be??? lmao

 **Yeehawba:** ;)

 **Yeehawba:** No but seriously why?

 **Sanic:** i dont

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** just come over when kindaichi brings back the cart okay? he wants to make you dinner.

 **Yeehawba:** Hmm

 **Yeehawba:** Is Kindaichi-kun also staying?

 **Kindaichi:** I can't, sorry senpais!!! My little sister has a dance competition all week!!!

 **Sanic:** wish her luck for me

 **Sanic:**?

 **Kindaichi:** I will!!!

 **Yeehawba:** Can Shinji come?

 **Sanic:** um

 **Watari:** What am I? Ur emotional support libero?

 **Yeehawba:** Of course!

 **Yeehawba:** Kidding.

 **Yeehawba:** But yes, I'll go

 **Sanic:** okay.

 **Sanic:** okay cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay folks! My dumbass got sleebi and stoopid but here's the update!! Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> EDIT;  
> Thank you for the concern in the comments! As per the suggestion of a very kind reader, Xev, I will be trying to update once a week from now on so I can build up more content for y'all! I'll be writing by the same as usual for here, but putting it all together for one bigger update per week, if that makes any sense!
> 
> Thank you for all your support!  
> -Moss


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kunimi: He'd taste like playdough
> 
> Yeehawba: You're right. Kindaichi-kun's the only one who'd eat playdough here.
> 
> Kindaichi: It tastes good!!!

Making his way up to the door was an... interesting experiance, seeing as Kindaichi had brought a smaller tortoise along to show to his senpai. Yahaba couldn't help but keep his eyes on the cart holding the tiny being, worried it would be snatched up by a bird. Thankfully though, it wasn't, and before he knew it he was inside and shaking hands with a broad-shouldered man while an older dog tried to jump on him.

\------------------------

_\-- Yeehawba has sent a photo to the chat --_

**Yeehawba:** I'm stealing her

 **Sanic:** dont

 **Lying Hoe:** Is this the famous Peach-chan?~

 **Yeehawba:** You can't stop me, she's mine now >:)

 **Watari:** Who knew a dinner would send you down this path. I'll remember you when ur in jail

 **Yeehawba:** Look after Peach for me until I get back

 **Sanic:** you dont need to steal her

 **Yeehawba:** Of course I do!

 **Sanic:** no

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh right!! What was it about?~

 **Yeehawba:** Oh I don't actually know

 **Lying Hoe:** Wh

 **Lying Hoe:** What do you mean you don't know??

 **Yeehawba:** Well it wasn't explained. Right?

 **Sanic:** dad didnt tell you

 **Yeehawba:** Is that a question or???

 **Sanic:** he didnt tell you.

 **Yeehawba:** Okay good. I was trying to pay attention.

 **Lying Hoe:**  No hints?

 **Yeehawba:** I mean.

 **Yeehawba:** He was acting a little weird(no offense) but I don't know what he's normally like so??

 **Sanic:**  he thinks were

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** nevermind

 **Yeehawba:** ?

 **Hanamaki:** hey oiks do you know where ur locker door went?

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh I thought you went home already?

 **Lying Hoe:** Also, it's behind the bench :-)

 **Hanamaki:**  it's not here so.

 **Hanamaki:**  oh ew disgusting

 **Iwaizumi:**  Speaking of going home, Shittykawa.

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh shush, Makki-chan :-(!

 **Lying Hoe:** It's not even dark yet!

 **Iwaizumi:**   _Tooru._

 **Iwaizumi:** Your sister's coming for dinner today, remember?

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh right, I have to give Takeru his present!

 **Hanamaki:** betting ¥5000 it's a framed picture of himself.

 **Matsukawa:** ^

 **Yeehawba:** We're not idiots, Hanamaki-san

 **Hanamaki:**  F

 **Lying Hoe:** Rude! :-(

 **Hanamaki:** Gross

 **Lying Hoe:** I got him a toy dinosaur :-)

_\-- Yeehawba has changed HanamakiTakahiro's nickname to Gross --_

**Gross:** i'm glad you accept me for my true self, yeehawbabe

 **Gross:** yeehawbooboo

 **Yeehawba:** Stop

 **Gross:** yeehawbaby

 **Lying Hoe:** My little yeehawbaby boy <3

 **Yeehawba:** I hate this.

 **Yeehawba:** So much.

 **Lying Hoe:** What's wrong, my darling Yeehawbaby son?

 **Yeehawba:** O i k a w a - s a n  p l e a s e

 **Yeehawba:** Have mercy

 **Lying Hoe:** Hmmm~ Nope! ;-)

 **Yeehawba:** :(

 **Lying Hoe:** No!

 **Yeehawba:** :'(

 **Lying Hoe:** Stop that!! Illegal!

 **Yeehawba:** :''(

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** why are you sad?

 **Lying Hoe:** :-0

 **Yeehawba:** :'''''''(

 **Yeehawba:** I'm not, it's a joke, KyouKen.

 **Sanic:** dont call me that

 **Sanic:** but ok

 **Lying Hoe:** I never expected to see such criminal activity from my own son!

 **Yeehawba:** >:'''(

 **Gross:** ah yes, the face of the saddest criminal.

 **Watari:** F

 **Gross:** F

 **Matsukawa:** F

 **Yeehawba:** F

 **Gross:** u can't F urself

 **Lying Hoe:**  Makki!

 **Yeehawba:** Hanamaki-san I am shocked that you think I would do such a thing.

 **Yeehawba:** I am but a baby. I'm ashamed of you!

 **Gross:** ahn.

 **Lying Hoe:** Yeehawbaby, my son, quick, get away from this disgusting man.

 **Gross:** r00d

 **Gross:** i am but a leetol kreacher myself.

 **Lying Hoe:** Literally no???

 **Gross:** I am the size of ur toe

 **Lying Hoe:** I would step on you but you'd probably be into that

 **Gross:** ;)

 **Matsukawa:** ;)

 **Yeehawba:** Look at what you've done, Oikawa-san, you've summoned a foot fetish into our good Christian group chat.

 **Sanic:** a dissapointment

 **Yeehawba:** Yes, I expected more from him.

 **Sanic:** feed him to kindaichi

 **Kindaichi:** I don't want to eat Oikawa-san!!!!

 **Yeehawba:** Kunimi?

 **Kunimi:** He'd taste like playdough

 **Yeehawba:** You're right. Kindaichi-kun's the only one who'd eat playdough here.

 **Kindaichi:** It tastes good!!!

 **Sanic:** please dont eat it

 **Sanic:** bad for you

 **Yeehawba:** It tastes horrible what do you mean??

 **Kindaichi:** Do you not eat it when you bake??? Even a little???

 **Kunimi:** they mean the fake stuff

 **Kindaichi:** OH!!! No!! That's bad!!! I think Oikawa-san would taste of cookie dough!!

 **Iwaizumi:** He'd taste like milkbread.

 **Yeehawba:** That's fair.

 **Gross:** the expert has spoken.

 **Lying Hoe:** I leave for f iv e m i nut es to get changed. AnD THIS is what you do!?

 **Matsukawa:** sometimes it just be like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway so changing my schedule made me not want to write anymore which was,,, great  
> So back to the old schedule of every other day unless shit happens lmao
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoyed the chapter, and thank you for the continued support!
> 
> -Moss


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lying Hoe: Shocked, apalled, scarred, in tears, how could my dear son drop an,,, an F bomb
> 
> Gross: Fergalicious.

**Yeehawba:** Oikawa-san, why  _is_ your locker door down the back of the benches?

 **Lying Hoe:** Iwa-chan broke it off, that brute! :'-(

 **Iwaizumi:** I did Not, Shittykawa.

 **Yeehawba:** What did you do though?

 **Yeehawba:** Also @Sanic, did you know that you were coming for dinner?? I didn't

 **Gross:** OwO?

 **Yeehawba:** Dispicable.

 **Sanic:** . ?

 **Sanic:** no

 **Yeehawba:** Hmmmm

 **Watari:** I'm coming to dinner tonight too!

 **Yeehawba:** HMmmm

 **Sanic:** i can ask not to come if u dont want me to

 **Yeehawba:**  

 **Watari:** Shig?

 **Sanic:** . ?

 **Lying Hoe:** The whole team's coming!

 **Yeehawba:** ????

 **Yeehawba:** wait no

 **Sanic:** . ??

 **Yeehawba:** It isn't my turn until next month how dare you

 **Lying Hoe:** ;-)~ hope you don't have anything ~ _scandalous_ ~ lying around.

 **Yeehawba:** I hate this fucking family

 **Lying Hoe:** :-0

 **Lying Hoe:** Shocked, apalled, scarred, in tears, how could my dear son drop an,,, an F bomb

 **Gross:** Fergalicious.

 **Yeehawba:** My Point stands

 **Sanic:** pretty boys turn for what

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh my dear Mad Dog-chan~ my darlingist angry hound~ didn't you know?~

 **Sanic:** stop

 **Lying Hoe:** It's our monthly team sleepover~ to raise team spirits~

 **Lying Hoe:** Usually it'd be my turn~ but I have given it instead to my darling son and heir, light of my life, Creampuff-chan so he can prepare for his captaincy~ aren't I kind?~

 **Yeehawba:** O i k a w a  - s a n,,,

 **Sanic:**  no

 **Lying Hoe:** Mean!

 **Matsukawa:** don't worry toe beans, i'll get Makki to being us some horse tranqs ;)

 **Yeehawba:** You what

 **Kunimi:** Stab me with thirty of those

 **Gross:** Blease Bapi

 **Matsukawa:** ;)))

 **Yeehawba:** Did you just call me toe beans like what the fuck does that even mean??

 **Lying Hoe:**  Are you alright, Kunimi-chan?

 **Kunimi:** Lmao no

 **Watari:** Mood but-

 **Matsukawa:** you don't like your new nickname, Toe Beans?

 **Yeehawba:** I crave my own demise

 **Sanic:** .?

 **Sanic:** dont do that

 **Yeehawba:** You don't control me

 **Sanic:** not u

 **Yeehawba:** ???

 **Sanic:** matsukawa

 **Sanic:** but stop that to

 **Yeehawba:** too*

 **Matsukawa:** is this??? flirting???? disgusting, right in front of my Makki's ass

 **Yeehawba:** Eat my ass

 **Gross:** ;)

 **Matsukawa:** Makki's is enough 4 me thx

**Yeehawba:**

**Yeehawba:** K

 **Sanic:** gross

 **Yeehawba:** They should both just be called that at this point

 **Gross:** ahn~ shame me harder papi~

 **Yeehawba:** Is it possible to resign early?

 **Lying Hoe:** Nope <3

 **Yeehawba:**  Shit

 **Yeehawba:** Please?

 **Sanic:** .

 **Lying Hoe:** Oh right! The door! So I was just minding my own business, right?

 **Yeehawba:** Bullshit

 **Gross:** bullshit

 **Matsukawa:** bullshit

 **Lying Hoe:** Rude!

 **Lying Hoe:** But I was minding my business when s o m e o n e, not naming any names, (Iwa-chan!! :-(!!), decided to come at me for no reason!!! And he hit the door so hard it fell off!! Then he got all red and walked off in a huff!!!

 **Yeehawba:** Oh my god

 **Gross:** phat F for iwa

 **Matsukawa:** F

 **Watari:** F

 **Yeehawba:** F

 **Kunimi:** F

 **Kindaichi:** What does F mean???

 **Gross:** @Yeehawbabe u can't F

 **Yeehawba:** ?? Why not??

 **Yeehawba:** And @Kindaichi-kun, it's to pay respects in a video game when someone dies, a meme.

 **Gross:** ur not c00l enough smh

 **Yeehawba:** I'm super cool wym

 **Kindaichi:** Oh my god is Iwaizumi-senpai dead!?

 **Yeehawba:** N,, no??

 **Gross:** yeah he died,,, vored by his hot sugar daddi godzilla

 **Matsukawa:** a brave man,,, died as he lived,, a sex god

 **Iwaizumi:** Hey what the fuck?

 **Iwaizumi:** I leave for five goddamn minutes and Makki's already being a horny fuck again

 **Matsukawa:** that's how all fucks are meant to be, iwa

 **Gross:** when am i not? ;)

 **Iwaizumi:** Kindaichi, cover your ears

 **Gross:** i'm gonna say something controversal real quick

 **Matsukawa:** speak ur mind th0t

 **Gross:** ;)

 **Gross:** Pepe,,, could destroy my anus and I'd thank him

 **Matsukawa:** total top material right there. i'd bottom for him anyday. 0/10 not controversal enough

 **Gross:** eat my ass Mattsun

 **Matsukawa:** gladly ;)

 **Yeehawba:** You're both sexual fiends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I fuckin' uhhh died for 2 months but sometimes it just be like that Ig fjfn  
> No but in all seriousness, I'm V sorry for my absence, I've just been distracted by my nephews and my rats, but I hope to be more active now! Thank you for sticking by, or if you've just found this fic, I hope you enjoy it so far!
> 
> -Moss


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kindaichi: If you're sure, Kyoutani-san!!! I'd never say no to a bourbon!!!!
> 
> Gross: the great bourbon prince has spoken

**Lying Hoe:** Wait why are we F-ing Iwa-chan?

 **Gross:** haha wouldn't you like to kno? ;))))

 **Lying Hoe:**  

 **Lying Hoe:** Anyway-

 **Gross:** oh yeah I can't go to the sleepover btw,,,, i gots things and stuffs to do

 **Yeehawba:** I'm not even ready to host one today, if no-one could come that'd be great thanks

 **Lying Hoe:** How long are you grounded for? @Makki

 **Gross:** blocked & reporteded

 **Kunimi:** I don't want to come so I'm not.

_\---- Gross has changed KunimiAkira's nickname to onesleebiboi69 ----_

**onesleebiboi69:** Ok

 **Gross:** anyway if no-one tells me the Tea™ i miss there will be w a r

 **Matsukawa:** i got u dw

 **Matsukawa:** @Yeehawba where's ur diary kept?

 **Yeehawba:**  

 **Yeehawba:** For starters; it's a journal

 **Matsukawa:** sure

 **Gross:** we don't support toxic masculinity in this household, yeehawba :'((( u can call your diary a diary if u want to

 **Yeehawba:**  

 **Yeehawba:** Ok

 **Yeehawba:** Hang on are you already here? @Matsukawa-san

 **Iwaizumi:** We all are

 **Yeehawba:** Ch r is t okay hang on

 **Sanic:** my dad wont leave

 **Lying Hoe:** Did he just,, Kyouken-chan :'-) 

 **Sanic:** dont call me that

 **Sanic:** ? what

 **Gross:** @Mattsun what's the t e a???

 **Matsukawa:** i'm in tears, soldier,,,,, @Sanic can we keep ur dad??

 **Sanic:** hes mine

 **Matsukawa:** @Gross angery hound is r e d i love this

 **Yeehawba:** coming down now!

 **Gross:** the t e a , Mattsun, f o r k  i t  o v e r

 **Yeehawba:**  ???

 **Matsukawa:** a

 **Kindaichi:** Kyoutani-san, why did your dad say Yahaba-san was your boyfriend???

 **Yeehawba:**   _???????????_

\---------------

Yahaba frowned slightly to himself, _Why did he feel tingly inside?_

\---------------

 **Yeehawba:** @Sanic Explain Please

 **Sanic:** .

_\---- Sanic has left the chat ----_

_\---- Yeehawba has added KyoutaniKentarou to the chat ----_

**Yeehawba:** We're literally looking at eachother that was pointless??

**Kyoutani:**

**Gross:** legally, i am now deceased

 **Kindaichi:** Oh no!!! Are you okay, Hanamaki-senpai????

 **Gross:** kindaichi,,, i love you, you little gremlin :')

 **Kindaichi:** ??????????

_\---- Yeehawba has changed KyoutaniKentarou's nickname to Sanic ----_

**Yeehawba:** We can talk about that later

 **Sanic:** . ?

 **Yeehawba:** Yes we have to

 **Sanic:**  .

 **Yeehawba:** But my mum made hot chocolate for us so. I think we ate all the marshmallows but you can ask? Whip cream should still be there

 **Watari:** Any biscuits?

 **Yeehawba:** We're not monsters, Shinji

 **Yeehawba:**  Gosh

 **Yeehawba:** Lmao

 **Matsukawa:** @Gross 10/10 hot chocolate, ur missing out

 **Gross:** better than mine? rude

 **Matsukawa:** better step up ur hot chocolate game then : )

 **Iwaizumi:** @Yeehawba, are any of the biscuits chocolate? Shittykawa only has chocolate ones with his hot chocolate

 **Yeehawba:** Like 99.9% of them are chocolate ones

 **Watari:** Don't think I can't see you hiding all the good ones for yourself @Yeehawba

 **Yeehawba:** B a s t a r d how dare you call me out in my own home? Smh

 **Watari:** Ur biscuits, hand 'em over.

 **Kindaichi:** Can I have a bourbon please, Yahaba-san? (:

 **Yeehawba:** Y,,,yeah

 **Kindaichi:** Thank you!!

 **Watari:** This just in: our future captain is S0ft for first years

 **Yeehawba:** Oh shush, he was pulling those puppy eyes at me, I legally couldn't say no

 **Watari:** Surrreee

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** @Kindaichi, you can have mine instead if you want

 **Yeehawba:** ??? I was kidding there are loads dw

 **Kindaichi:** If you're sure, Kyoutani-san!!! I'd never say no to a bourbon!!!!

 **Gross:** the great bourbon prince has spoken

 **Sanic:** its ok

 **Lying Hoe:** Your mother's so nice @Yeehawba!

 **Yeehawba:** Please stop flirting with my mum, Oikawa-san. This is painful to watch

 **Iwaizumi:** I kept yours warm for you, Idiotkawa.

 **Lying Hoe:** I'm not!~

 **Lying Hoe:** Thank you Iwa-chan~

 **onesleebiboi69:** It's too early for you to be flirting

 **Matsukawa:** disg0stang,, right in front of my hot chocolate

 **Iwaizumi:** We're not flirting

 **Gross:** sounds fake but okay

 **Yeehawba:** Why has god forsaken me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hc that Yahababe owns a highschool musical electronic singing diary,, ya'll know what I mean,, I have one somewhere :')  
> Edit: jk jk lmao
> 
> In other news, I have a tumblr, if anyone wants to find me there! It's called 'amossydoomsday'! There'll be alot of shit posting on there and me talking about my rats maybe,,, unsure but I'll figure it out,,,
> 
> Thank you for reading the chapter!
> 
> -Moss


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeehawba: You wouldn't d a r e if you want me to keep shut about your nudes
> 
> Gross: OwO what's dis???
> 
> Lying Hoe: FBFNF SHUT

**Matsukawa:** found it @Gross

 **Gross:** i demand a copy of every single page at once smh

 **Yeehawba:** Put it b a c k

 **Matsukawa:** ùwú

_\-- MatsukawaIssei has sent 27 photos to the groupchat --_

**Yeehawba:** N O

 **Yeehawba:** @Lying Hoe senpai delete those!!!

 **Yeehawba:** s e n p a i

 **Lying Hoe:** Mmmmnn okay but I get to read the real thing ;-)~

 **Yeehawba:** F ine.

 **Kindaichi:** I brought one of my tortoises by the way! His name is Melon (:! Kyoutani-senpai named him for me!!!

_\-- Lying Hoe has deleted 27 photos sent by MatsukawaIssei --_

**Lying Hoe:** Ur diary, hand it over

 **Yeehawba:** Oh he's cute! Can I hold him?

 **Gross:** N O

 **Yeehawba:** >:0

 **Gross:** I WAS ON THE LAST PAGE OIKS YOU W H O R E

 **Lying Hoe:** :-)))

 **Gross:** just for that ur banned from my next birthday party smh

 **Lying Hoe:** That's okay :-)) I'll bless my fellow setters with my presence that day then :-))) and give them my massive creampuff :-)))

 **Gross:** ur not a top don't lie

 **Lying Hoe:** M a k k i

 **Gross:** MISREAD F CK

 **Yeehawba:** @Gross let me into ur bday party so I don't have to hang out with Oikawa-senpai, I b e g

 **Yeehawba:** lmao

 **Lying Hoe:** Shocked, appalled, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Iwa-chan and THIS is the thanks I get!? >:-0

 **Yeehawba:** Okay Boomer

_\-- Yeehawba has gone offline --_

**Gross:** a powermove tbh

 **Gross:** i'm stealing ur son Oiks

 **Lying Hoe:** I am N o t a boomer!!! @Yeehawba come back online and apologise!!!!!!!

\----

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** i like melon.

 **Kindaichi:** He likes you!!! He's never fallen asleep so fast before!!!! (:!!!

 **Matsukawa:** i can't believe you've bored that poor turtle to sleep lmao

 **Sanic:** he's a tortoise not a turtle.

 **Matsukawa:** an i oop

 **Sanic:** ????

 **Gross:** SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSKS SAVE THE TURTLES

 **Sanic:** yes.

 **Gross:** oh he's so cute what the fuck

 **Gross:** @Mattsun look at this cute, memeilliterate baby

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** i am not cute. And not a baby.

 **Yeehawba:** I own a hydroflask if you want it senpais

 **Matsukawa:** u are absolutely a baby. a whole ass foetus.

 **Gross:** no child, live out your VSCO girl dreams.

 **Yeehawba:** Oikawa-senpai's a VSCO girl

 **Gross:** JFNFNF UR RIGHT NFNFNG

 **Gross:** @Lying Hoe an I oop

 **Lying Hoe:** SKSKKSKSKSKSK

 **Lying Hoe:** Also @Yeehawba don't make me leak your Tik Tok ;-)~

 **Matsukawa:** Sir why do u have scrunchies on ur person??? I'm calling the Bolice

 **Gross:** FBI OPEN UP

 **Yeehawba:** You wouldn't d a r e if you want me to keep shut about your nudes

 **Gross:** OwO what's dis???

 **Lying Hoe:** FBFNF SHUT

 **Matsukawa:** Nudes you say???

 **Sanic:** .

 **Sanic:** @Iwaizumi-senpai

 **Sanic:** come get your... mans?

 **Sanic:** did i do that right?

 **Gross:** ur so right Kyouken Oiks isn't a man,,, he's an ali00n

 **Sanic:** i already knew that.

 **Gross:** JFJFNFNF

 **Iwaizumi:** I don't want him.

 **Lying Hoe:** Mean Iwa-chan! :'-(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fuckin uhhh  
> Guess who died again? This bitch!
> 
> This chapter is a mess and I feel like it feels kind of stiff, but in my defence:  
> I have no defence, I was just clownin for the past few months  
> I missed these boies tho so here we be! It feels good to write as them again


End file.
